Programming to Spill Your Coffee By

AbTV. That’s my nickname for WeTV.com, the online offshoot of the cable network. And not because I can pick up the latest in abdominal workouts. This, folks, is where you go to see the results of some major ab work.

WeTV has one purely online program (which they launched over a year ago): Hot Coffee Break. You’ve probably heard of it. Guys taking off their shirts while in the laundry room, at the park, cleaning the house, frosting a cake. You get the picture. Wherever a guy can remove his shirt, they have one doing it. No dialogue, just music and the guy. Once the shirt is off, typically in the first five seconds, the viewer can study the resulting ab shots for about 30 seconds. That’s it!

Interesting choice of emphasis. I’m wondering if Hot Coffee Break will expand its coverage to other areas of the anatomy. Got to tell you, for my contemporaries, abs are not a big deal. Brains are the next big thing. Of course, some would say it’s about time we caught up with men’s programming. Which would mean that the brain would be the last area of study.

Anyway. WeTV ran a new ‘episode’ of Hot Coffee Break every day last July. Literally lasting about 35 seconds each, WeTV offered them as a quick pick-me-up. CBS News called it “steamy.” If you visit the show’s site, you can learn the names of your favorite men, vote for your favorites after reading the Playboy-esque bios and revel in the fact that you’ve participated in the, um, community. You can even download Hot Coffee Break wallpaper. So far, it’s just for your computer screen. I’m sure someone will think of turning it into something you can use on your walls.

There’s a great deal more programming available on the main site, WeTV.com, but it’s all video capture of the network programming. When we contacted the network, they very cordially sent us a press kit detailing their upcoming network series—some of which include full episodes streamed online.

There are two other networks that specialize in women’s programming, Lifetime and Oxygen. Of the three, WeTV focuses the most on celebrity-influenced culture topics, from relationships to weddings, and features almost entirely reality programming. There are reruns of women-centric situation comedies. But none of them are making original online programming.

As a girl, I’ve been watching very closely to see where all of this goes. And Tubefilter News will be the first to report if the Hot Coffee Break guys decide to leave the shirts and remove something else. Or start drinking green tea.

But the question remains: After an entire year, why hasn’t WeTV created more original online programming geared towards the biggest online demographic, with arguably the most significant purchasing power?