‘Epic Meal Time’ Celebrates Five Year Anniversary With 84,000 Calorie Monstrosity

In 2010, a band of daring Canadians came together to create a 5,200 calorie “fast food pizza.” Five years later, those intrepid food pioneers are known as Epic Meal Time, and they’ve eclipsed their first video many times over, both in terms of viewership and calorie count. In order to celebrate half a decade of artery-clogging goodness, Epic Meal Time has produced one of its biggest episodes yet, with an 84,000-calorie lasagna-in-a-pig monstrosity serving as the centerpiece.

Epic Meal Time’s five-year bash is a ten-minute odyssey that includes a heavily-aged version of the channel’s bygone Muscles Glasses character, a Cristal-popping rap video, and, of course, several pounds of bacon, courtesy of Hormel. The ensuing creation isn’t the biggest one Epic Meal Time has ever produced–I’m pretty sure that distinction goes to the “Snack Stadium” episode–but it is almost certainly the most sentimental. I mean, look at how far they’ve come! Would the “fast food pizza”-era

Before chowing down, “Sauce Boss” Harley Morenstein delivers a promise about the future of Epic Meal Time. “It’s been on every motherf***ing Tuesday for the last five years, and it’s gonna be on for the next five years,” he boasts.

Naysayers could claim that the unhealthy nature of Epic Meal Time will eventually bring the show down, but hey, they’ve made it this far without suffering any heart attacks. Here’s to five more years, and plenty more TV shows, movie appearances, and spin-off series along the way.