'Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show' – An Engrish Playhouse

Let’s assume Pee Wee’s Playhouse was conceived during the acid trip of a 9 year-old boy suffering from acute ADD. Now, let’s try to imagine another program derived from the child’s mind-altering escapades with a cocktail befitting of a Merry Prankster. Combine that with too much Japanese television replete with an engrish speaking hostess, a furry(ish?) fetish, and a thing for celebrity(ish?) personalities.

What’s your imagination got? Yeah, I couldn’t come up with much either. Lucky for us Crackle.com’s Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show (G.T.C.M.S.) does all of the imaginative hard work so we can just turn on, tune in, drop out, and enjoy.

Meet Kiko, masterfully played by Kim Evey, a Korean born, American-raised, lactose intolerant improv comedian (and producer of The Guild), actress and writer.

We’ll also be enjoying our stay in this absurd land of make believe with Unicow, an eleven-holed, pelvic thrusting (with udder in full bloom) friend that is part Unicorn and part cow; Sexy Panda who is always licking anything and everything in a somewhat suggestive fashion; the oft abused and frightening looking Carrot and many other equally random and original characters.

For the most part the show follows a set formula with repetitive antics. Kiko sings the catchy opener with a large cut-out head and much Japanese school girl exuberance. Then she introduces the guest: “Prease for you to crap hands (sometimes it sounds more like crap ons) and cheering for Mistera Licka Poopa.” Of course that is not the guest’s actual name. In this case Lick Poop‘s actual name is Rick Pope. When the guests correct Kiko, she’s always enthusiastically and innocently smiling, hearing the words but not concerning herself with their meaning. So, for the remainder of the show Rick Pope will remain Lick Poop even in the occasional subtitle.

You might be worried that you’ll grow weary of watching the same old gags rehashed again and again. Don’t be. Just like in the classic Lou and Andy Sketches from Little Britain, the repetition works. The greater joke isn’t the formula (which is already funny), it’s the bizarre situations and even more bizarre outcomes to which the formula is applied.

So you know, Kiko is going to introduce some guest and botch their names. The real fun is seeing the way she botches them and how the guest responds. Guest Ron Jeremy

(don’t worry this isn’t a direct link to his actual homepage), to Kiko, is Jeremy Iron, Steve Peoples is Squeeze Pimples, Gary Boyd (really Alan Tudyk of Firefly fame) is Girly Boy, and Sous-Chef Rich Boles is Chief Itchy Balls. The list goes on and on (two season’s worth so far.)

Do yourself a favor by at least checking out Season 1 Episode 4: Pamous Movie Star where special guest, Jeremy Iron (aka Ron Jeremy), and his huge janitols (janitors) and Kiko make an adult(ish?) film: Hard Jobs. Its full of over the top sexual innuendos and awkward moments that leave Ron Jeremy more confused than ever.

For you furry fans, there’s suggestive Yiffing aplenty here and elsewhere in the series (see the side segments where Unicow gets laid and Unicow gets pregnant). Also be sure to check out the vblogs by Lick Poop and Kiko’s music video: Juicy (We are all juicy inside!).

Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show is filled with dumb, sophomoric, bathroom humor in a sophisticated way. So everyone: “For ultimate power – expose your brawls!” and enjoy G.T.C.M.S.