'Model Ball' – A Better Looking 'Bad News Bears'

The Chicago Cubs haven’t won a World Series in a hundred years. A lot has happened since then – a Great Depression, the advent of velcro shoes, the invention of tacos, another Great Depression. One. Hundred. Years. So, as all of Cubdom looks back at another season of dashed hopes, they should be thinking one thing: we should have started the model.

Back in 1984, the super hot Marla Collins was a ballgirl for the Chicago Cubs (first ever for the majors), then she was fired for posing for Playboy. That’s like firing Harry Dean Stanton for excess awesomeness. Cubs management should’ve went the other way. She had a great arm. She was like Ryne Sandberg in short shorts. If Donna Martin could graduate, surely Marla Collins could hit a slider.

I GUARANTEE you all this was on Iron Sink Network’s mind when they created the web comedy, Model Ball.

Scott Zakarin and his Iron Sink crew are responsible for some benchmark web series, including The Spot and more recently Roommates, the first original web series on Myspace.com. They continue their string of pretty girl successes with Model Ball. And it’s…wait for it…a homerun. Okay, maybe more like a triple.

Jake McBride (Tim Pilleri) is the best player in his softball league. He also has a gambling problem (gambling problems are always hilarious, just ask the homeless). His team which includes one female, his cousin Holly McBride (Tarah Despain of Roommates), a professional model, always wins the championship. It’s a dynasty, like the Boston Celtics or the Jacksons.

During a post-victory bender, he bets a rival, Gary, $50,000 dollars that he can win the next pennant with a team composed entirely of professional models (Jake, are you crazy!! You can’t do that! Girls throw like, er, girls.).

As the series progresses, Jake enlists his cousin to help recruit and round out the roster for his new team, the Hornets. We meet the sassy Australian Kat (Alice Hunter), the ditzy Olive (Sabrina Maahs), the why so serious Millie (Katie H.), the mousy Candice (Anna Bohn of Roommates) and the sexy, Christine (Sasha Formoso). Oh, and the professor and Mary-Anne.

This somewhat reluctant crew gets demolished in their first game, forcing them to seek out a ringer, a plus sized-model named Michelle. She quickly shines among the skill-challenged Hornets.

Model Ball embraces Iron Sink’s love for attractive females and sports movie roots with gusto. Make no mistake, it is The Bad News Bears, but with models. Pilleri brings the funny as the put upon player-manager. He could use a little more Matthau, but he’s lets the zingers fly in episode 6. Tarah Despain is also strong as the model cousin who dreams of opening her own modeling agency. And the girls that are supposed to be convincing players, like Formoso, have some game.

Modelall is consistently amusing, if not laugh out loud funny. Even when they wheel out the wacky announcer it still plays (Damn you Bob Uecker, you created a monster. And Mr. Belvedere.) Overall, the jokes are surprisingly PG when there’s room to spice things up. When a character actually uses the phrase, “play with myself.” I was wondering if there was some new web MPAA no one told me about. I’m pretty sure your demographic can handle at least “wack off” in order to sell a joke. In fact, I know so.

So, guys, in between checking your fantasy stats, watch Modelball every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Ladies, too. It’s like a post-post-post feminist A League of Their Own. Without Rosie, Madonna and that chick from Point Break (Utah! Get me two!). Besides if I wanted to see Rosie in a bikini I’d open my sketchbook.

As for all you Cub fans, you’ll always have Marla, and the Billy Goat and Bartman. And Vicodin.