Suri, Apple, and Shiloh say 'Whatever Hollywood'

The way to make things happen in the real world via the internet is to simply say that they’re happening.  It’s like The Secret, but more effective and less Oprahy.

It worked for the guys behind Title of Show, whose webseries about getting their show to Broadway got their show to Broadway. It worked for Corey Delaney, who said his sunglasses were famous, and thus, they became famous.  It kind of worked for Katie Danger, who said she was a web celebrity and then was one.  Kind of.

But will this tried and true technique work for the girls of Whatever Hollywood, and their quest to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live?

The Whatever Hollywood girls are a team of three BFFs in Los Angeles who write, edit, and produce internet shorts and their own semi-weekly webshow, thus saying to Hollywood a hearty “whatever!”.  Their videos are about…well…anything really, but mostly themselves and their quest to become as famous as possible.

As seen above, after being rejected by their favorite talk show host, the trio takes their life-sized, Jimmy cut-out on a musical tour of their show and their favorite LA hotspots.  This story of fame and friendship is told almost entirely through song, which flits between musical theater high-camp and the ever-popular genre of white gangsta rap, with so-terrible-they’re-funny rhymes.

Like Regis and Kelly we go back and forth
Post messages on Facebook
And make little forts

But the lyric that describes these girls the best is in their first music video, Tabalicious, in which they describe themselves as “cute and kinda genius”.  Modest? No. But accurate?  Extremely.

When I watched Whatever Hollywood for the first time, I was convinced it was fake.  These girls are clearly not really named Suri (a host/producer) Apple (an actress), and Shiloh (a singer/songwriter).  Surely there is a team of writers behind these three, someone else doing the heavy lifting of the professional edit jobs, superb songwriting, and sharp camerawork.

Why did I think this?  Because despite being a girl, I am apparently horribly sexist. I couldn’t believe these three stereotypically ditzy LA ladies were putting these excellent videos together themselves.  But they are.

In my defense, the notion of these girls being bubbly valley girl types is played up on the site itself.  The copy is written in girly marker font, and abounds with OMG vernacular (just check out Spray Tan Rap to see some in action).  But the Whatever Hollywood videos can be enjoyed by anyone with a good sense of humor, not just people who count Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion as one of their top five films.

Other content on the site includes The Whatever Show, which documents the evolution of Whatever Hollywood told by the girls themselves.  As the girls climb the ranks of internet fame, episodes document such notable achievements as their official incorporation of the Whatever Hollywood brand, and the most recent episode is a fashion show to promote their new t-shirts (Zoolander jokes ensue).

So will the trio’s dreams of talk-show level stardom come true?  After being on YouTube since January 2007, they’re already being distributed by the WB’s ambitous video content site, so perhaps TV stardom is not far off.  The fact that Suri looks a lot like Elzia Dushku certainly doesn’t hurt their chances for mainstream appeal.

But despite a glossy surface, Whatever Hollywood is one of the best online examples of actor/female empowerment in action.  These girls pose a challenge to rising starlets across the globe – being monied and attractive is not enough.  To rise to the top, you also must be funny, capable, fantastic, at self-promotion and brilliant (Rosie would be proud). Who else will step up?