'Love, Pop, Trash' Tells Tale of Teens at the Mall

I learned something today: kids still hang out at malls and somebody finds it compelling enough to produce a webseries based on the concept. We haven’t moved past this yet? How about instead of creating shows that revolve around the vapid, whorey lives of wealthy teens somebody, god forbid, engage the creative centers of their brain. Or, if you must create a show appealing to the teenybopper demo, at least make it good.

“OMG, [trashy name] is totally crushing on [waspy name], can you believe it?” No, I can’t believe it, future housewife of New Jersey. “Hey bro, let’s go hang out in the mall parking garage and huff gas.” Fellas, how about you go buy some schwag and learn how to ride your skateboards instead of just sitting on ’em?

The folks behind series Love Pop Trash, which debuted in May, could easily remove the first two words of their title and save everyone the effort of sitting through their show. Actually, that might be a bit too harsh. I’m not exactly the target audience. I may or may not be a decade or more removed from my mom-can-you-drive-to-the-mall-so-I-can-hang-out-at-Hot-Topic years. But I have to assume that kids these days like to watch shows in which compelling characters tell a story.

Saul Levitz, Ingrid Crowe Levy, and Ben Duhl have created a series that’s pretty to look at, but lacks any angst-ridden adolescent substance.

No wonder kids are embarrassed by their elders. Is this what older people think all young people do with their time? Conversely, if this is what most young people do with their time they should be embarrassed because they’re a waste of space and precious natural resources. I’m trying to stay calm and reasonable here, but by watching these I run the risk of premature aging and belting out curmudgeonly non-sequitor inanities like the love spawn of Andy Rooney and Larry King.

One redeeming virtue I did find in Love, Pop, Trash is the inclusion of an openly gay male character (which these days is unfortunately still a novelty), though that was almost immediately tarnished by the fact that he’s creepy and lecherous; exactly the kind of portrayal that will open narrow minds across this great land of ours. Oh and his first line is, “I’d totally suck his dick.”

Later, episode four makes an attempt at moralizing when the Huffing Boyz Crew steal from the girl with Down’s Syndrome who works the sunglasses stand, but it mostly made me feel bad that they cast that girl in the first place just to end up doing that to her. It’s a rather roundabout way to get someone to feel disgust.

Clearly this is the kind of show that exorcises all manner of latent hatreds in me. The trailer didn’t inspire any real positive vibes, but I was hoping there would be some little easter eggs laying in wait to surprise me. Instead what I found was a series of rehashed and tired stereotypes of people who most of us willfully avoided when we were teens and who, in all our “adult” versions, still try to avoid now.

I only recommend watching Love Pop Trash if you’re in the mood for loathing or sado-nostalgia. If that’s your bag check it out at LovePopTrash.com.