LA SucksNewsflash: The vampire life isn’t all glittery sunburns and brooding cool, Twilight fans. It’s about time someone showed the awkward side to bloodsucking – and that someone is the cast of L.A. Sucks, an improvisational comedy web series that premiered March 15th.

L.A. Sucks stars Andréa Morris, Lon Haber, and Sarah Lassez as Kinka, Xavier, and Joan, respectively – three vampires lost in Los Angeles. Unlike the mysterious, tragically sexy vampires you’re used to, however, these three somewhat amnesiac vampires can’t remember how to do any of the cool stuff that usually comes along with vampirism, like reading thoughts or flying. Instead, they have to make ends meet by working (Kinka as a nanny, Xavier as a hotel valet, and Joan as a phone psychic) and feeding on a steady diet of douchebags and evil people (luckily enough, Los Angeles has plenty of those).

The pilot episode is approximately 26 minutes long, and it’s a safe bet that the rest of the shows will aim for a 30-minute format. Interestingly enough, it appears that Morris (also creator-producer-director for L.A. Sucks) had initially developed the show aiming for a television release, and ended up bringing it onto the web instead in order to preserve the creative vision. Web series that shoot for the 30-minute mark are few and far between – Graduates comes to mind as one of the few others – so props to the L.A. Sucks team for reminding the world that ‘web series’ and ‘five-minute-long attention span’ are not synonyms.

In addition to a handful of details on the show, there’s also an episode guide that details the premise behind the seven-episode first season as well as a few hints about a second season. Dining on pedophiles, medicinal marijuana prescriptions for night terrors, and even a parody of Michael Moore’s Sicko are standard fare for the vampires of L.A. Sucks – frankly, I can’t imagine how that couldn’t be funny.

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