‘The Amazing Race’ Season 28 Episode 5 Recap: “We’re Only Doing Freaky Stuff”

[Editors Note: This article and all others in this column WILL contain SPOILERS. If you have not seen Episode 1 of The Amazing Race season 28, it’s highly suggested you do so before you read the below. You have been warned and may Phil Keoghan have mercy on your soul. And for a reminder of the super cool and descriptive nicknames we have for the teams, check out the coverage of Episode 1. You can also find all of our The Amazing Race recaps right here.]

Just Let Tyler Do the Work

The eight remaining teams on this YouTube and social media star-studded season of CBS’ The Amazing Race start off the 5th leg of their journey with a “wardrobe change!”, as Tyler so happily exclaims. We’re in the French Alps now and there is some serious snow. Teams suit up in tight-fitting snowsuits, helmets, and backpacks…which all have French Baguettes attached to them (and you KNOW we’re going to be seeing those come up later). In terms of placement at the get go, the teams are basically even because of that insane eight-way foot race at the end of the last episode.

The first clue tells the teams they must search the local streets for a car that has one of eight license plate numbers. Said cars will be their rides for the rest of the leg. It’s interesting to note the cars come with drivers and teams have not had to drive themselves anywhere this season. At least not yet. Traditionally, there is almost always a point where teams have to deal with driving stick shift cars with potentially hilarious and/or disastrous results. (Hard core fans of the show know you ALWAYS practice driving stick before the Race, but every season there is at least one team that can’t drive a darn manual transmission.)

The teams are taken to Les Grands Montets Gondola Station, where they have to pick up a Mountain Guide and take a gondola 11,000 feet up. That’s where their next clue awaits. Since only two teams can get on any gondola at any given time, this is where the teams will start to create some distance between one another. Team Rooster Teeth discovers this when it tries to get on a gondola with #Torey and Frisbee Boys, only to be told they it to wait for the next one. This is the first time in the episode where Bernie says, “this is a nightmare”. If I had known prior to watching how prevalent that phrase would be in this episode, I could have made it into a drinking game. But alas, opportunity missed.

Another potential bit of foreshadowing is that right around this time, Sheri from Team Family Time admits in an interview that Cole has basically done everything so far and now it’s her time to shine. Considering we haven’t seen much of them these past few episodes, this is either a sign of awesome things to come or horrible horrible things to come. Maybe both!

So, back to the first gondola holding Frisbee Boys and #Torey. Okay, so this bros and dudes and jocks thing is getting a little out of hand as the hashtag for this week is #BrosBeingDudes, which is a phrase uttered by America’s Sweetheart, Tyler Oakley. Look, I get it, I’m as big a fan of Tyler as anyone, but it just feels like we’re just making Tyler do all the social media work. And I’m not alone.

Omg all the hashtags @tyleroakley and @koreykuhl come up with!! Lol #brosbeingdudes I’m having trouble watching because of the heights!!!

— Lyssa (@lyssa921) March 12, 2016

#TeamTylerAndKorey #Brosbeingdudes 😂 again with another hashtag

— Jay-kun (@Bandfreak_24) March 12, 2016

#BrosBeingDudes IS EVERY EPISODE NAMED AFTER SOMETHING YOU SAY #TeamTylerAndKorey @tyleroakley

— LYNN (@QUIETTYLER) March 12, 2016

Note: To be fair, that last one isn’t totally accurate because the title of the episode is actually something Brodie says later in the show, but the point still stands.

Gee, I Hope No One is Scared of Heights

I personally am not very afraid of heights, but this week, I was watching with a few friends. (Aside: I’m trying to get more viewers to understand why I love this show! Also, if I didn’t do things with friends while technically also working, I’d never see them.) One of them is TERRIFIED of heights, so throughout the rest of the episode, I was treated to many, “NOPE!”s and “Oh HECK NO”s.

The exclamations start when the teams reach their gondolas’ destination. That’s where one member of each team needs to zipline across one mountainous peak to another to retrieve a clue and bring it back. “NOOOOOOOOOOPE!” yells Jenni’s Friend.

Most teams do relatively okay with this task. Korey does it for #Torey because Tyler is having issues with his glasses fogging up (more on this later). The Dancers seem most concerned about their feet freezing because…you know…professional dancers and all.

Ashley takes the zip line for Team Rooster Teeth and per usual, there is tons of encouragement coming her way from Bernie. But then disaster strikes! Ashley drops her clue on the way back! Bernie utters “this is a nightmare” #2. Then, like total jerks, the show cuts to commercial. My friends watching with me are extremely concerned and I actually don’t know what to say. Traditionally, there are only enough clues as there are teams and when you lose a clue, you have to take a penalty. So, yeah, I’m legitimately scared for Team Rooster Teeth at this point. But once we come back for commercial, it seems all Ashley has to do it go back and get another clue. So crisis averted. For now.

Boom Goes the Dynamite

And this point, teams are starting to finish the gondola/zipline task and receive their Detours. For this leg, they have to choose between Dynamite and Campsite. In Dynamite, they have to pick up some explosives and deliver them and “lunch” to mountaineers camped at a station at the end of a very steep and very thin path. In Campsite, teams need to pitch a tent in the snow based on an example. I actually thought #Torey would go the Campsite route because of their previous successes with detail-oriented challenges. But it turns out no one but Team Rooster Teeth choose Campsite and they choose it BECAUSE no one else does and because they have tons of experience setting up camps. Seems like a solid enough strategy…

Meanwhile, back at the zipline, Sheri is going to take it on for Team Family Time. For one, she feels like she needs to prove herself. And, for two, it turns out Cole is desperately afraid of heights. Like, he’s not even out on the zipline and he’s crying and shaking. And for a minute there, it looks like Sheri isn’t faring much better, but then she pulls it together and gets through it. There is then some debate on whether Cole can handle doing the Dynamite challenge because of the heights, but Sheri is able to convince him that Dynamite is the faster choice.

That assessment turns out to be overwhelmingly true as Team Rooster Teeth struggles with the tent. Bernie breaks one of the tent’s supports. That’s immediately followed by “this is a nightmare” #3.  (See! I could be nicely buzzed at this point!) They started this Detour in one of the top spots even with Ashley dropping the clue, but now are falling behind.

Back at Dynamite, some teams and especially Team Clevver simply don’t understand what the clue means when it says to deliver explosives and lunch. Oh hey, remember those baguettes I said were attached to their backpacks way back when?!? As Blair from Team JuicyDad07 explains to her Dad, “The French consider baguettes lunch.” Nice one, Blair. And also, Blair tries a little bit of  sabotage here by telling Team Clevver they only had to bring one bundle of explosives to the mountaineers  when the clue definitely said to bring two. Oh Blair, I like this devious side to you!

Here is how the teams placed at the Detour. I won’t list out what tasks they did this time since only Team Rooster Teeth took on Campsite.

1. Frisbee Boys
2. #Torey
3. Team Dancers (Dana was also scared of heights and yelling at Matt as usual, but that’s old hat by now)
4. Team JuiceDad07
5. The Kings
6. Team Clevver
7. Team Family Time and Team Rooster Teeth (They finished so closely together and went back down the mountain on the same Gondola so it was too close to call. It’s also worth noting that Sheri suggests to Burnie they team up to try to pass other players but Burnie dodges the suggestion…so clearly the “if you’re last, it’s every person for themselves” mentality that’s played out the last few legs of the race is still in effect.)

Find the Yeti

Teams now head to Plan Praz Gondola Station to take yet another gondola up to a super high height for their #RoadBlock. (Yes, it was a hashtag, but c’mon, we’ve already established #RoadBlock and #Detour are throw-away hashtags not worth our time. You can do better, The Amazing Race social media producers!). The clue is “Who feels the wind beneath their wings?”. One member of each team must paraglide down the mountain and then answer a question about a Yeti. Yes, there is a Yeti, and I vaguely remember there being a joke about either Korey or Tyler dating a Yeti.

Brodie is the first to the Road Block with Korey not far behind (while Tyler again opts out of participating because of his foggy glasses issue). The team members doing the challenge have to do so while holding a selfie stick, something which makes Jenni’s Friend nervous because heights AND selfie sticks are just far too much for her to handle! (I think at this point she covered her eyes, too.) Brodie can’t get up enough speed to takeoff the first time and falls face first in the snow, opening up an opportunity for Korey, who takes off on his first try. He spots the Yeti no problem and sees it’s waving a French flag, which is the piece of information Korey needs to tell a mountaineer when he lands).

The real fun in this challenge is that powers that be at Race edit it in such a way that you’re not always sure who gets in front of others until they’re all close to landing. Because sticking that takeoff is so darn important and with adrenaline pumping and the variable of the direction of the wind, people can either nail it right away or fail multiple times. And then there is always the possibility that a team misses spotting the Yeti and can’t finish the challenge.

In the end, the trickiness of the takeoff effects several teams. First, Blair from JuicyDad07 is able to get past Rachel from The Kings when Rachel fails in her first attempt and Blair moves past her by nailing it on the first try. Erin from Team Clevver, Ashley from Team Rooster Teeth, and Sheri from Team Family Time all arrive at the same time, but have to wait because of bad wind conditions. Once again, Sheri has stepped in so that Cole doesn’t have to face his fear of heights. Ashley actually tries to go first to get ahead but the wind is not in her favor and she just can’t do it. Sheri nails it on her first attempt. And Sheri wins MVM (Most Valuable Mom) for this episode for sure.

There is then a back and forth where Erin fails and then Ashley fails again. Erin smirks at Ashely’s failure each time. (Jenni’s Friend shakes her fists at this before hiding behind her hands again.)

The editors then decide to mess with us by cutting to Burnie and Joslyn congratulating Sheri on the awesome job she did when another paraglider comes into the frame. So, yeah, here comes someone but we don’t know who it is! AWWWW THE SUSPENSE! And…IT’S ASHLEY! In typical Team Rooster Teeth fashion, there is kissing and celebration.

We then get a rare The Amazing Race flashback showing the exact moment when Ashley overtakes Erin. In fact, Erin still needs a couple more goes at it before she’s able to get off the ground, but once she does, she breaks out in tears at the sheer beauty she experiences. Okay, maybe I can forgive her for the smirks at Ashley now that I know Team Rooster Teeth is safe from elimination (#sorrynotsorry).

Here are how things ended up for teams at the Pit Stop, which was at the Michel-Gabriel Paccard Monument:

1. #Torey! And because of Korey’s paragliding success, #Torey wins a trip to the Philippines, too!
2. Frisbee Bros
3. Team Dancers
4. Team JuicyDad07…and the only hint of #Blodie this episode is when Phil Keoghan asks Blair who her favorite team is and she demurely states she might have a favorite with an eyelash flutter. So wish they would have cut to a Dad reaction when she said this, but no such luck.
5. The Kings
6. Team Rooster Teeth…who must have beaten Team Family Time to the mat in a footrace we didn’t get to see.
7. Team Family Time
8. Team Clevver

Upon reaching the mat, Team Clevver is told they are eliminated. I never had any real attachments to Team Clevver, so I didn’t mind seeing them go, especially because it meant Team Rooster Teeth got to stay. I can’t help myself! I need more gems like these:

Watching @AshleyJ and @burnie on the amazing race is giving me stress sweats #TheAmazingRace

— Evan (@ButterbeanXX) March 12, 2016

@AshleyJ and @burnie are doing so well on #TheAmazingRace and i want them to Win… you guys can do it!! pic.twitter.com/RaxP0rBt4W

— nico! ♛ (@nicodrawn) March 6, 2016

And before I wrap up, I do have an important announcement: The Amazing Race is taking a couple of weeks off and won’t air again until April 1st. That’s soooooooooooo far from now, I know. But don’t be alarmed if you don’t see my recaps for a few weeks…I shall return! I hope during the break the Race social media team will take a look at upcoming episodes and consider not just using hashtags from Tyler and also try to just get a little more creative overall. Like, you could have had some great fun with that Yeti. @FrenchFlagYeti is totally available on Twitter, I’m just saying…

Did the heights in this episode get your adrenaline pumping? What would you say to @FrenchFlagYet? Let me know in the comments below and also be sure to Tweet during future episodes and you might see your Tweet featured in a future column!

Photo Credits: CBS ©2016 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved