Jonny Paula and Jory Caron really enjoy putting things that aren’t food into microwaves. Like baseball is for some and Monster Trucks are for others, it’s like their own Great American Pastime. They enjoy it so much they’ve even made a web series based on the question Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?.

I’m not a scientist (at lest not by training), but before watching a single episode I’d answer with a cautious, “If you have to ask, probably not.” In most cases, turns out I’m right.

If the sole premise of a web series is to put things into microwaves that you know are going to blow up, is it worth watching? To this I can unequivocally deliver a resounding “no,” but not everyone agrees with me. The series has almost 34,000 subscribers on YouTube. At times like this it’s worth remembering Dane Cook has a massive fanbase, which proves the no-accounting-for-taste dictum.

I suppose it’s only fair that I describe what Jonny (camera), Jory (host/writer) and Riley McIlwain (sometime co-host) are attempting with this project. They put everyday objects into the microwave and proceed to nuke said objects.

Jory has an aluminum foil-lined room (with a ventilation system) in which sits their microwave (of which, they’ve gone through a few). Once a setting is decided upon – a random process – and the ‘start’ button pressed, the boys retreat to the safety of the next room to watch through a small window. They film the destructive light show, make inane comments throughout the process, and edit it all together into about a four-minute installment.

After watching Jonny and Jory microwave a blender in their makeshift lab I can barely fathom how they’ve milked this facile idea for one season, nevermind five. However, duty required that I, of course, had to see at least a few more.

I watched them nuke the dvd of Memento. I hated that movie so I thought maybe I would enjoy seeing it zapped (for the record, I have put cds in the microwave, which is kinda neat…for about 8 seconds). Nope. Frankly, I had to press stop because they decided to film the episode “backwards” like the movie. Fellas, I don’t care what the critics says, that’s half the reason that movie sucked. And neither your juvenile comments, your “zany” antics, nor consistent amazement that things flare, crackle, and pop when microwaved are entertaining, except maybe to an eleven year-old whose parents don’t let them inside the kitchen.

I’m stuck wondering if part of the appeal of microwaving (and blending) random – and seemingly dangerous – objects holds the same appeal for some that NASCAR does for many. Are these guys just waiting for something to explode in some horrific accident? Part of me hopes that happens and a place at the Darwin Awards is reserved for the recipient of microwaved shrapnel.

I realize that is a terrible thing to write, but material like this makes me want to lay my head upon that Sharp Carousel and hit the “popcorn” button.

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